Cutting a long story short I now have a referral to a specialist physiotherapist (that's something new!) and a prescription for enough painkillers to knock out an elephant. Apparently I should take the painkillers on a regular basis as a preventative measure and not wait for the pain to set in.
My body is now full of bloody chemicals and just the very thought of that in itself is enough to make me low. I have to alter my mindset and regard it as a temporary thing until the root cause of the pain can be solved. Indeed - IF it can be solved. I know that sounds negative but after years of this, I'm pretty cynical.
I hate my body today. It's creaks, groans and middle aged malfunctions; nothing about it seems to work properly or look nice any more.
If I feel more myself tomorrow I'll regard myself in a more positive light. If I can get some days pain free I might feel like doing more activities and stop dwelling on pain. Something I should be thankful for is that I'm alive! The pain might be a bloody nuisance but it means I can feel. It might make me moan a lot but that means I can communicate. If I can communicate I can laugh.
Looks like I talked myself into something positive!
