Oooh, hello. Nice to see you....how are you? We've not had a catch up in a while. So, tell me YOUR news! You might want to get in first because I have a load of stuff to recount. Make a start while I nip and put the kettle on. Carry on - I can still hear you over this jet engine that purports to be my kettle. Bloody thing!
You did WHAT? Crikey, I thought I was growing old disgracefully but that beats me into a cocked hat. How much did you have to drink for goodness sake? How on earth did you explain to your other half about the mysterious mobile number on a scrap of paper in your purse? Oh I SEE.....it's one of your gal-pals.
Was she pi$$ed as well then? Right, don't tell me any more - been there, got the t-shirt. I know what's coming next - security had to come and unlock the cubicle door because SOMEONE was too drunk to do it from the inside, and the queue of crossed-legged squealing twenty-somethings were cursing the drunk old tart who got herself locked in Trap 1.
By heck, that seems like last year. Oh wait a minute, it WAS only last year. It wasn't me locked in the trap though, so that's twice you've done that, you daft mare. Eee, how we laughed. Look at us - we're STILL laughing. It's a good job we still can. Proper immature for women our age though. Yes, I know it only happens once in a blue moon, that's how we justify it. Perish the thought of it happening more often.
Here, shut up now and drink your coffee, I think I've heard enough lavatorial languishings for one day.
This bizarre conversation happens to be true and is one I had with an old chum yesterday when she made an impromptu visit. Years ago we vowed to grow old disgracefully and it looks like we managed it. We are definitely not your stereotypical Sixty-somethings, for sure. We kind of fell into the disgraceful category, found we enjoyed it and it went from there.
There's more stupid exploits to relate and thereby hangs another post :-)
I never did get to tell her my stuff. It didn't matter anyway - we had jaw-ache with laughing!
Also, what I want to know is.....what's the most disgraceful thing YOU'VE ever done? Your turn to confess!