Lynda Renham and Confessions of a Chocoholic. Tena Pads Required!

I don't know how I've only just discovered the Queen of Chicklit author Lynda Renham.  Well I do; I saw she was followed on Twitter by my other favourite author Carol E Wyer.  Anything Carol does has me interested, so I checked out Lynda.  What I really mean is, how come I've not noticed her before?  I usually home in on exceptionally great authors whatever genre they write.  This is one of the perks of being a library assistant.

Here I am digressing.  Let's get back on track.  So, Lynda Renham.  What a revelation!  The first of Lynda's books that I read was a collection of stories titled Confessions of a Chocoholic.  I was about half way through when I figured that this woman seems to have been shadowing me for the last 30 years!   Aside from the chocolate, Lynda touches on hospital car parks which are coincidentally the bane of my own life, not to mention the other annoyances of useless builders, a barmy cat, together with hapless husbands, Waitrose rotisserie chickens, bloody Christmas and generally being utterly distracted.  Oh, and setting fire to herself.  Yes, I forgot that one.  I rolled about laughing at this collection of stories relating to each one in turn as if I'd actually been there.  

One of her Amazon reviewers asked if she and Lynda had been separated at birth.  I take that to mean the reviewer like me, feels the connection.  Maybe it's women of a certain age who knows, but I have to say that Lynda grabs everyday life and finds a way of writing about it with the highest level of grumpy humour.  My kind of humour! 

Here's the Amazon synopis of the book and the link to the page

A collection of short funny tales and a unique insight into the world of chicklit royalty, aka Lynda Renham. A right comedy of errors if ever there was one. If you're looking for her beauty secrets and fashion ideas you've come to the right place. Read of her intimate sex life, her secrets for staying young and how she keeps her man - just. A fly-on-the wall true account of the life of a romantic comedy novelist, written in her own words. It's all here, the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 

Publisher Note: We are not responsible for any of the advice given in this book. If you do not look like Lynda after reading this we cannot be held accountable. 

Warning: Tena Pads recommended while reading. 

As you know I gravitate to humour of any kind to distract me from the pain in my hip and foot.  This book is high on my list of successful distractions, and I can happily recommend it as a blooming good read!

For your amusement and delectation......

I couldn't resist this.  It's so me!  I nicked it from Carol E Wyer's Facebook page.  I'm sure she won't mind.  It definitely raised snigger from Sir Grumpytrousers!

Early menopause and Electric Shocks!

In effect, at 63 I've outgrown the menopause.  Mine began at the age of 39 with some mild symptoms such as a fuzzy head, grumpiness and a change in my flows together with different levels of pain.  I had no idea what was happening and neither had the GP.  "You're far too young to be starting the menopause" he tried to reassure me.  "But tell me about your mother.  What age did she begin hers?  It may have some bearing".

I cried then, with grief and frustration.  This was just another question about my genetics that I couldn't answer.  You see my mum died at the age of 58 when I was 28 with a young baby.  As neither of us had foreseen her premature death, we hadn't talked about menopausal stuff like that.   There should have been plenty of time for a natural progression into such conversations, and at that time she was just thrilled to be a grandmother.

I'll talk about mum in a separate post.  She deserves one of her own.

So, no knowledge of the female family history of the menopause meant I was out on a limb.  The doctor was so convinced nothing was happening with my hormones he didn't see it necessary to send me for a blood test.  Despite my tears, he sent me off and suggested I come back if I noticed further changes in my periods.

Not to be outdone, I left it a few weeks, went back and saw a different GP.  A lady this time.  She too, was sure it wasn't menopause but did agree to a blood test.  It came back showing I was in the early stages.  She called it perimenopause.

We talked through a general list of symptoms and I confirmed I had at least 10 of those including bloating, weight gain, rather disturbing memory lapses and irregular periods.  The positive thing that came out of it was at the ripe young age of 48 it was all done and dusted!

Carol E Wyer has published a great book titled Grumpy Old Menopause.  Here's a synopsis from the Safket, the publisher's website -

Grumpy Old Menopause
To be administered in one large dose for maximum effect

Have you started to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them? Do you need to change your underwear after every sneeze? Guess it's time to read this book then. It'll help you get through "that" time in your life with a spring in your step and a smile on your face.
With numerous suggestions, sensible advice and amusing anecdotes, Grumpy Old Menopause will help you sail through that tricky part of a woman's life with ease and humour. It should prevent you from turning into Mrs Crabby or worse still, a demonic monster.

"An excellent mix of humour and sound advice. This book is a must-read for all women ... I highly recommend Grumpy Old Menopause. It is the perfect blend of humour and excellent advice to help all women sail through the menopause." - Nicky Snazell, Fi STOP Consultant Physiotherapist in Spinal Pain, Fellow of Institute for the Study and Treatment of Pain. International Lecturer in Pain and Health.

I enjoyed reading Carol's book for not only it's humour, but her empathy together with hints and tips about how to cope. 

Electric Shocks
Carol touched on an area of the menopause that doesn't often get recognised or spoken about.  Electric shocks, folks.  Not the kind that you get when you touch bare wires - well come on, you just wouldn't.  Would you??  No?  Good lass!  The electric shocks she refers to are of the hormonal kind.

I have very vivid memories of my own personal experience with them and they seem to baffle everyone including the GP.  (Do I have duff GP's at my practice?  Seems like it upon reflection!) 
Anyway, I'm digressing again - let's get back on track.  About 5 years into the menopause, I found myself one day getting jabbing pains on the top of my head, just to one side.  They lasted a matter of seconds but were so intense they upset my vision a little.  A short while later on the same day, I had a massive stabbing sensation in my upper left arm, quickly followed by a similar feeling in my abdomen.  I was worried enough to chuck a sickie from work that day and hurtled straight round to the GP's thinking I was having a stroke or something!  He told me I was suffering from stress and wrote me a sick note for 2 weeks off work.  I don't recall that I was particularly stressed, at least no more than usual, but hey, who was I to argue about having a fortnight off? 

However, the pains continued sporadically, always with some intensity and I found that I was also getting them at my cervix, in the roof of my mouth and in my tongue as well!  A further visit to the GP to get the new pains checked out resulted in him telling me to change my job as it was obviously stressing me out.  I'm glad I ignored that piece of advice as I liked my job.  My colleagues were wonderful, if a little baffled themselves about my bizarre symptoms.   One lady in particular said to me that daft as it seems, this could be hormonal.  I thanked her and followed up her suggestion.  Sure enough, a little research unearthed a website that indicated all my symptoms as hormonal electric shocks! 

It was such a relief that someone, somewhere had written about it and I felt reassured that the pains would eventually  run their course, along with most of the other menopause symptoms.  I apologise here as I have lost sight of that website, but here's one for you to consult if you wish to read in more detail.

For anyone out there who is suffering from these shocks, I hope the writing of my own experience helps to reassure you.

Hello Sunday!

I really need to get off me bum and get some stuff done. BUT, Mr Grumpytrousers is out for an hour or two and the peace is rather pleasant I have to say.

How shall I use that time? Clean the bathroom (it really does need doing). Nah, stuff that. Hoover the bedroom? Well, that means disturbing the cat so maybe not. Candy Crush then! Nope, gone off that...been stuck on Level 94 for a week and now officially bored.

OK, I think I'll download some music into my 'Feelgood' folder on the laptop. That's always a nice thing to do while no-one's in. I can't get moaned at then.

This is what's going in my folder....

**********

I wrote the above around 10.30am and its now 2.30pm.  While the music was downloading I decided to go for a walk to the newsagents at the other end of the village.  My lovely follower, author Carole E Wyer hinted that 'someone we know' was on page 27 of this weeks Take a Break. I enjoy reading anything that Carol writes, and can highly recommend her as a good read.  So, incentive enough to get bundled up in my winter jacket, strap up my foot and get my trainers on.  It's still sunny as I write and I have to say my waddle up to the shop was lovely.  Being out in the fresh air, feeling the wind ruffling my hair and whipping hell out of my skin, but all was good.  For a while.

As I set off I almost skipped down my road as the strapping on my foot was holding it nicely in place.  The pain was minimal and I figured I'd make the 1 mile round walk with no bother.  Hmm, how wrong could I be?  I made it to the crossing when I felt my hip starting to hurt.  "It'll go off" I thought as I trundled along past the playing fields.  The sun was behind me at this point and I noticed my shadow.  If I didn't know differently, I'd have said that shadow belonged to someone else.  Some decrepit old biddy who walked like she'd got one leg shorter than the other!  I monitored my walk all the way.  If I stopped for a moment 'to take in the view' (a rest stop if you must know), the pain subsided a little and I could set off pain free and walking almost normally.  However, it took less than 30 seconds for the little fecker to kick in which meant my stops became more frequent as I neared the shop.  I wished for someone to come along who I knew so I could stop (and rest) for a minute or two to say hello and have a quick catch up.  That didn't happen today, so I had to rely on loitering on the edge of the pavement waiting for traffic to pass. 

Strangely in all of this, my foot didn't give me any grief.  It was all hip related.  I shall be explaining all of this to the consultant when I see him on the 21st of this month.  I had an assessment with a sports massage lady at work who suggested that my hip problem may not be in the joint.  She feels it might well be something divinely named Tensor Fasciia Latae (nothing to do with Fascias and Soffits.  And definitely not Starbucks related either).  It's something that runs from the hip down the outside of the thigh and stops by the knee.  It's been impacted by the way I walk which directly stems from my foot.  My gait is so uneven that I feel unable to stride out with my right leg.

Right I've done moaning now.  The grumps are gone.  Husband still not back so a bit more free time for the moment.  Maybe I ought to show the bathroom a cloth and some spray bleach.  Or shall I go wave a duster round the bedroom?  Oh, the cat's still in there though.  I won't disturb her.



 Happy Sunday!!!!!

Right then - about my foot!

Right then folks, up to now I've not said much about what ails my foot.  I've hinted at the pain levels so I figure because a lot of this blog will be dedicated to the sodding thing, I best get on and tell you all about it.

First of all, the main reason for starting this blog is because I know damn well there has to be other people out there with the same or similar problem.  If I can get plenty of followers, someone amongst them will be able to relate or empathise.  Maybe we can help each other because it's good to feel you aren't alone with your problem.

My foot started being painful about 6 years ago.  It began with a dull ache underneath which the podiatrist told me was Plantar Fasciitis; a common problem and easily managed.  I was given insoles, and even after months of wear none provided any relief.   They were all too hard, or filled my shoes too much making them tight and uncomfortable.  Sadly they are now in a neat, but unused pile in my wardrobe.

Eventually I found some in Boots similar to THESE . The ones shown here are full insoles and mine were half ones but they are from the same range.  The level of comfort they brought was far greater than any from the podiatrist, and I think it's because they were made from really firm foam, and not hard plastic.  You see, I have a fallen arch too, resulting in my foot being completely flat.  In turn this makes it extra wide.  The orthotics from the podiatrist seemed to be in just a standard width fitting and eventually chafed like hell, making sore spots that bled.  On top of the foot pain, I didn't need bloody chafing.  Or to coin a delightful northern expression - chuffing chafing!  Therein lies a whole new blog post on a completely different form of chafing ;-)  There I go, digressing again!

I revisited my GP on several occasions until I finally got him to agree to a hospital referral.  Various appointments at orthopaedics over the last 3 years have still not resolved anything.  They suggested to me that steroid injections may bring some relief but of course they couldn't guarantee the success.  I was happy to try and had two injections last year.  Nothing worked.  Not even for a day!

My walking oddly because of my foot always hurting has brought about another painful problem.  My right hip.  So left foot, right hip both painful.  Result?   You got it - the Penguin's Waddle!

This is where the grumpiness sets in.  An occasional pain, like a toothache or a headache doesn't have a massive impact.  Years of constant pain does so I can now forgive anyone for being a grump as a result of pain.  So, on bad days, which I seem to have a lot of at the moment, walking any distance is not only desperately uncomfortable, but can actually stop me in my tracks due to either the foot or the hip having a spasm.   When it passes, I can carry on for a few hundred yards until it happens again.  I hide it quite well I think.  Most people who know me are aware of this rolling gait, but I don't always say WHY I need to stop walking.  I'll use a multitude of reasons for stopping, such as pausing to look at a notice for example; or looking for the singing bird in the trees, a shop window maybe, and I'm ALWAYS glad to see a friend coming towards me to stop briefly for a chat.  I ABSOLUTELY hate moaning about the pain.  I feel that once I unleashed it, I'd never stop!  And everyone hates a moaner don't they?  Come on, be honest, you do don't you?  You'll say otherwise I know you will, because I do it too, but you hate it all the same.

Anyway, moaning doesn't make the pain go away.  Swearing does a bit, but generally dwelling on it makes it worse, so the best thing for me is to quit the expletives, shut up and find a distraction. Carol E Wyer is a brilliant novelist for 'ladies of a certain age' and has provided me with the welcome distractions I need, plus laughter which is so therapeutic.   Her books are enormous fun, together with stuff I can relate to.  Maybe you can too.  Oh, and I also read erotic filth.  That's also a great distraction. And fun.

I have a hospital appointment for a second opinion due next month.  I daren't even allow myself to be even cautiously optimistic until after I've seen this new consultant, but I'm willing to give him a try as he's an actual foot specialist where the other chap I saw is a general orthopaedic consultant.  If the problem with my foot is properly treatable, and I could walk more normally surely will take some of the stress from my hip.

In the meantime, I'm off to have a distracting read..............................

See you soon xxxx