Note the date of the extract below. This is from an old blog I used to write several years ago. This post never actually got published (for obvious reasons) but recently one of my fellow bloggers had a bit of an enebriated rant on her own blog which I found hugely amusing. I thought she might like THIS one from me.
Friday, March 11, 2011
I really shouldn't drink.......
......so much red wine.
I'm pissed as a fart! I don't do boozing. Girlfriends decided I need to go and loosen my corsets,
I'm pissed as a fart! I don't do boozing. Girlfriends decided I need to go and loosen my corsets,
so Is've been out with two of them and had 6 glasses of red wine. Large ones. Jeez do I feel weird!
I'm really giddy, and the typing of this is hilarious as I need to make so many corrections.
I'm really giddy, and the typing of this is hilarious as I need to make so many corrections.
i'VE EDITGED IT SO FAR, BUT i'M, Leaving the rest, just so you ge the diea of how pissed i AM!
It's ba d let me tell you!
I have to be up in the morning at 7am, and it's now 23:48. God knows if IU'll get up, but
I have to be up in the morning at 7am, and it's now 23:48. God knows if IU'll get up, but
i'LL DO MYU BEST. Correections so far unedited. You gfet the drift??
Been tgo visitg husband in hospital tonight and he's belligerent. Go be exdpecfgted apparently.
Been tgo visitg husband in hospital tonight and he's belligerent. Go be exdpecfgted apparently.
I've booked next week off work and this is what I can look forward to when he gets home on Sunday.
Belligerence. Hey ho, and Ho Hum. Watcdh this space. xxxxx
Fuck tghe corrections - I can't be arsed!
And here's the contrite posting from the following day.......
Belligerence. Hey ho, and Ho Hum. Watcdh this space. xxxxx
Fuck tghe corrections - I can't be arsed!
_____________________________________
And here's the contrite posting from the following day.......
____________________________________
Saturday, March 12, 2011
How the hell.....
......did I manage to spell belligerent last night????? Maybe it took several attempts and a load of
corrections. Who knows.
I'm a bit delicate this morning, and contrary to the tripe I put in the last post, I only had three glasses
I'm a bit delicate this morning, and contrary to the tripe I put in the last post, I only had three glasses
of red wine. But they WERE large ones!
I'm off to work now. The painkillers are in my bag. Bye for now xxxxx
I'm off to work now. The painkillers are in my bag. Bye for now xxxxx
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girlfriends were very kind and never mentioned whether I had to go back
and apologise to anyone. I suspect it wasn't really necessary as I'm usually
a very affable drunk by all accounts. A bit loud maybe - you know the kind
- chiefly because they get on your nerves in the pub while you're trying to
have a quiet drink, and they'll be squealing with hysterical laughter and treating
and apologise to anyone. I suspect it wasn't really necessary as I'm usually
a very affable drunk by all accounts. A bit loud maybe - you know the kind
- chiefly because they get on your nerves in the pub while you're trying to
have a quiet drink, and they'll be squealing with hysterical laughter and treating
the whole pub to some indigestible shite that's running through their heads at
that precise moment!
that precise moment!
There's always one, isn't there? On that occasion (that rare occasion) it was me.
Linda this is so bloody funny, you silly bugger. I can't breath, I have laughed myself stupid and there are tears running down my face. It's brilliant.
ReplyDeletePlease do some more! You have cheered up a grumpy bunny. xxx
Oh bless you! I'd forgotten about it until I read yours which set me off laughing. Mine came about because Grumpy Trousers was in hospital after having a triple bypass. It had been the most stressful time and I was upset after visiting him that evening as he'd been so difficult. It was to be expected of course, and I knew that. However, the chums decided I needed a girls night and plied me with JUST the right amount of wine to get me giddy. Well, squiffy. Erm no, make that well and truly pi$$ed!
DeleteIt was a good evening, and Grumpy Trousers laughed when I confessed.
HAR!!
ReplyDeleteI've done some of my best work with 'drunk posts'... I really wasn't drunk... I don't like to do that, but I've certainly been under the influence!!
I've found a favorite new phrase..."I'm pissed as a fart!"
I like collecting phrases/sayings!
He had a triple bypass? How is he doing???
~shoes~
LOL Jim, thanks for the comment. Glad you liked pissed as a fart. There's loads more where that came from!
DeleteGrumpy Trousers is doing good thanks. It was three years ago and is reasonably fit and well now. Still breaks every rule in his after care but only he can do anything about that.